It feels like a lot of time has passed since I last sat down to share the events of my journey, of the paths my feet have followed to unfound and unforeseen places. As I sit, I realize that this life mission, this constant and ever present reality that we continue to find ourselves in every day, is still as foreign and unknown to me as the day I first struck out upon it. Intent upon transforming and changing my life, I began by confronting the primary obstacle in my way. Myself. I am my own constant companion. When loneliness whispers on the wind, and the trees all shudder from its cool touch as it passes, I have myself to talk to, and to comfort me. Perhaps I should get to know the fellow.
This is the beginning of energy work, of being a spiritual warrior. For me, it is a discipline; working, struggling every day to be impeccable with my energy, to only spread positivity and unconditional love. To be the vibration and the change that I want to see in the world. My smiles widens as I think about the journey, about all of the different parts of the wave I have come to during expansion and contraction of my energy. I look on many of the places fondly with great happiness, and others, darker, more painful moments, I am aware of as well. For every experience, interaction, thought, and event my life shaped me, molded me, made me into the being that I currently am. This is why it is important to know yourself, and to be aware of your being. We are all waves, what vibration do you choose to be?
It is a hard and heavy cross to carry, to know oneself, and know that you are responsible for the propagation of your own wave. It is tough to look inside, into our darkness, into our hurt, and into our pain. These are the places of shame in our soul, that we strive to hide even from ourselves, for forgetting the truth is easier than facing it. It takes exceptional courage and patience to begin this journey inwards, and the route is different for every one of us. It isn’t easy, it doesn’t happen in a certain amount of time, and it doesn’t go away. It’s no use looking to the future, measuring and waiting for the time when it is done, for we must first pass through the fire to come out on the other side.
But along the way, through getting to know my vibration, and focusing on my energy, I have learned things about myself. I have learned about my happiness, techniques to maintain my vibration, cultivated understanding and awareness. I have grown to see my cycles, my weaknesses, my shadows and scars. I have learned to forgive them, to not judge them , but instead learn from them. We find ourselves with similar mindsets or similar stages; these are only the patterns of our wave, the fluctuations that we follow.
At times I get tired, at times I lose my way, get turned around and distracted from my destination, from my goal, from my purpose. At times I am so weary that I want to stop walking, and maybe just never continue. This is inevitable, we are human in this physicality and we despair, we slip, we tire. This is a completely natural part of the journey, of this quest to know oneself. And as I have come to know my wave nature better, to recognize my vibration, we understand these feelings more, for we have seen them before. It is only a dip, a low point on the cycle, and we come to recognize this and not let our mind/ego twist it into something it is not. We all fall, but it is our choice to learn from it, get up, and keep walking.
Take a moment to celebrate, to give yourself some well deserved credit. It has been a tough journey so far, at both ends of the spectrum, but you are growing, and coming to a higher vibration. Be filled with bliss that you are energy, and you are becoming more the vibration you want to share with the world every day. Continue to grow, and continue to be! Love.